Hedonism II: Room Types

Garden View Regular GVR

The Famous Garden View Regular (years ago it was Garden View Prude)... Hedonism’s version of “classic comfort” on the clothing-optional side. You get a nice view of the gardens and the bustling common areas... perfect for a little people-watching (or people-not-wearing-much-watching).

Some of these rooms are actually gems, especially the ones near Pastafari. They’re all pretty much mirror images of each other... left, right, same-same... but two of them break the mold by swapping out the window seat for an extra bed. So if you’re bringing a third person (or just optimistic about your vacation plans), those are the ones to aim for.

Simple, classic, and just close enough to the action to hear the fun... but far enough away that you can still get some sleep. Well, except on Glow Night when the party is around the main pool. That night it may feel like the party is in your room until around 2 a.m.

Ocean View Regular OVR

The Ocean View Regular... because sometimes you just want to wake up and pretend you’re on a cruise ship without ever leaving land. These classic rooms sit on the clothing-optional side and technically have a view of the Caribbean... assuming the trees haven’t decided to grow extra tall this year.

Now, a heads-up: some of these rooms are way down the beach. We’re talking “so far you might accidentally wander into Sandals and get arrested for being topless” far. Sandals property is basically a few feet away. They’re basically the same as the other classic rooms, just with a little more cardio built in.

If you want the ocean-view experience without paying premium prices... and don’t mind a few extra steps to the party... this is your spot. Just remember: “ocean view” doesn’t always mean “ocean visible.”

Ocean View Regular Jacuzzi OVRPJ

If you’ve dreamed of having your own Jacuzzi at Hedonism II... but don’t want to sell a kidney or make two car payments a day to afford it... this is your sweet spot. These rare gems are few and far between, so if you see one available, grab it faster than lube at an orgy.

It’s basically a classic room on the clothing-optional side with a peek at the Caribbean and a private outdoor Jacuzzi. And we say “private” loosely... because once the bubbles start and the rum kicks in, “private” often turns into “group therapy, Hedo-style.”

Same cozy size, same Hedo charm... just with jets, bubbles, and a higher chance of naked introductions.

Ocean View Nude Premium Balcony OVNP

Premium Rooms... Where Hedo Gets a Little Fancy.

We’ve got a soft spot for these rooms... but fair warning, your wallet might not. They’re definitely on the pricier side, but you do get a few upgrades that make you feel like you accidentally booked a five-star resort... for about five minutes.

The bathrooms are enormous... two sinks and a shower big enough for four people, or you, your wife and a unicorn. It’s Hedo... let’s make some memories. The minibar comes stocked, and you can even customize it a bit. They’ll also toss in a bottle of your choice for some in-room “mixology.”

Breakfast? Delivered right to your room... complete with menu items that don’t show up at the buffet. You can dine out on your balcony, which now features comfy seating and a bed-style lounger perfect for, well, whatever you two... or three... have in mind.

And the best part? Every room is on the second floor... so you can enjoy your evening breeze, your bubbles, and your balcony antics without getting eaten alive by mosquitoes.

Garden View Nude Premium Jacuzzi GNJP

Ocean and a private balcony or patio... Premium Suite on the nude side of the resort with a view of the forest. Not really a garden.

These rooms are in what is called the H-Block, and near the back of that block as well, so they are not as near the nude pool as you might think. As far as we know there are only two of these on the property.

Looks the same, right? Yep... just on the nude side.

Ocean View Nude Premium Jacuzzi NPBJ

Ah yes... the unicorn of Hedonism rooms. These beauties are so exclusive you can’t even book them online; someone has to actually pick up the phone and call. We can do it for you, but fair warning... availability is as elusive as modesty at the nude pool.

These rooms are the CFO’s favorite, mostly because every time one is booked, her quarterly bonus gets a little sexier. They’re not inexpensive... let’s just say your credit card might even blush... but they’re prime real estate: steps from the nude pool with front-row views of the nude beach and all its glorious natural scenery.

Each room comes with the premium perks: a stocked minibar, breakfast room service, and a bathroom big enough for bad decisions. The outdoor Jacuzzi is technically “for four,” but let’s be honest, six or eight can fit if everyone’s friendly. Sure, it eats up most of your deck space... but who’s counting square footage when you’re bubbling with new friends, the ocean breeze blowing in your face, while you are getting... blo... oh well, you understand.

If you’re ready to go all-in and trade three weeks of “regular world” vacations for one epic, no-regrets Hedonism experience... this is your room. Just don’t forget to wave to the CFO while you’re soaking.

Premium Room Bathrooms

All Premium Rooms share this upgraded bathroom design... bigger, brighter, and built for couples who pack like they’re moving in. The expanded layout makes room for two sinks... so no more elbow wars... and a spacious shower that can comfortably fit a small party. Purely hypothetical, of course.

No tubs here... unless you count the outdoor Jacuzzis on the deck. Inside, you’ll find a rainfall shower and a handheld one for when you want to get creative. It’s sleek, functional, and loaded with counter space... perfect for you and your partner to immediately cover in toiletries, makeup, sunscreen, and whatever accessories you swore you’d keep organized.

Oh, and take note of the two toilet paper rolls thoughtfully stocked. Hedonism clearly knows its guests: between the buffet, the booze, and the late-night adventures, you’ll appreciate the foresight.